Doing Life With Faydra

Posted on Categories Style Your LifeTags , , , ,

My background is in Psychology. I have 22 years of direct service in the fields of Mental Health, Social Services and Family Court Services. I hit the glass ceiling nearly ten years ago and really struggled with wanting to be paid what I knew I was worth. I started blogging before it was a thing. It was more like an electronic diary back then. I was blogging about my divorce and it seemed to resonate with an audience I didn’t even know I was looking for. Divorce became a niche for me and I was able to blend my work experience as a court mediator and investigator with my growing career as a writer. Over time, I have written six books directly associated with divorce and was a paid columnist for print news and as their expert on Divorce. I started to get a lot of traction in pop culture and became a returning guest with Nancy Redd on HuffPostLive. That exposure was great for my brand and growing my audience.

In 2008, life started to change. I was dating someone who was a prominent member of his community. This was also a time of flux in the economic climate and an election year. My boyfriend found himself at the center of a white collar accusation and it turned into a six year legal battle of epic proportions. Along the way, we got married and continued to fight for his innocence against a machine with deep pockets and the gift of media manipulation. After years of struggling to clear his name, including being put in jail to force a plea (which he didn’t accept) and being on the national news, he was finally put through a trial and he lost. Sent to prison for 43 years. I not only became a widow without the death, I became collateral damage to a situation I had nothing to do with.

This sent me into a terrible depression and cost me my career. At the time of the conviction, I was working as a court investigator with the Superior Courts and I was fired as a result of the fall out. Black listed and battered by the media frenzy, I ran out of the tools I needed to cope. Despite two decades of helping others and a Masters degree in Psych. I was stuck. Big Time.

It took some time, but I did find my way. Once I did, I came back better than before. I had a message of hope and a clear vision to ensure no one ever felt as alone as I did during that time. I widened my niche to all forms of crisis, not just divorce, and rebranded as America’s Crisis Coach. I have a bold approach to crisis management and now I work with celebrities, professional athletes, corporations and high achievers who are facing the worst times of their lives. I understand because I have been there.

The biggest thing I learned since my husband’s conviction is that we must walk into the fire when the flames rise. Hiding brought me nothing, and believing I was required to accept the opinions of others brought me to the brink of suicide. I knew I was a wonderful person and I bought the BS that I was damaged goods. I am not. Neither is anyone who is being forced into shame.

When I stopped being defensive about my situation and my life, I started to attract people who needed the courage I had. I freely lend it until they revive their own. No situation is too big to overcome and one thing I know for sure is this- Everybody is hiding something and the sooner they talk about it, the sooner they can claim the life they have always wanted.

One of the ways I have been able to pay it forward is by starting a podcast called Coming out of the Fire. I interview people who have been through unusual and high-end crisis. They share how they went through the fire. My goal is to provide a resource where anyone hiding in pain can hear from someone who has been there and survived.

If you are intrigued and want to know more, you can find out about me at


Leave a Reply